Well, today marks the 12 week mark. Or thereabout. I am officially out of the 1st trimester and have entered less scary waters. The first trimester and part of the 2nd are so full of sickness for me. It is just not fun for me. It does help me know that I am, for sure, pregnant, but it is not fun. I don’t like it, not one little bit. Anyways, the 2nd trimester helps me rest a little easier in regards to miscarriage. I know there are no guarantees that there will be no problems with this pregnancy. God knows how long this child’s life will be.
After the trials I have been through over the past few years, being pregnant at all is amazing to me. I felt like Hannah. It may seem a bit dramatic to say that. I had two healthy, happy children. They really are the best kids ever! However, I couldn’t shake wanting more babies. I wanted to do it again (and maybe 1 more time after this). I just didn’t see how it would be possible, though, with the illness I was suffering through. He has blessed me. Not for any other reason than because He is good. I didn’t do ANYTHING to deserve anything good in this life. Not a thing.
I surely do not understand the depths of God’s ways. I am sure I never will. There are just some mysteries we are not meant to know. I do have faith, though. I do believe in what the bible says in Matthew 7:11. Not in a name it and claim it kind of way. That stuff is just weird. However, in a God is good and loves us kind of way. He just is good. For me, right now, that means another child. For that, I am ever so grateful.
Now here is your theology lesson of the day on God’s goodness:
From Calvin’s Institues (3.3.15), a quote from Bernard of Clairvaux:
Sorrow for sins is necessary if it be not unremitting. I beg you to turn your steps back sometimes from troubled and anxious remembering of your ways, and to go forth to the tableland of serene remembrance of God’s benefits. Let us mingle honey with wormwood that its wholesome bitterness may bring health when it is drunk tempered with sweetness. If you take though upon yourselves in your humility, take thought likewise upon the Lord in his goodness.
And an excerpt from Psalm 25:
Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.For your name’s sake, O LORD,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.
Who is the man who fears the LORD?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
His soul shall abide in well-being,
and his offspring shall inherit the land.
The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him,
and he makes known to them his covenant.
My eyes are ever toward the LORD,
for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
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